Magic & Loss

In my parent's record collection were a few albums of Lou Reed. I'm a great fan for as long as I can remember. One of his later albums is called 'Magic & Loss' it is a fitting title for the spikes in life.

This section is about those spikes in life. About moments of great joy and of utter misery. This is not an attempt to wallow in self-pity. I'm a positive guy by nature. My photographs are not miserable either. The best and worst moments in my own life were the birth and death of my children. All of them were born prematurely. Isabelle and Ruben were both about a month early. The twins were very premature at only 23 weeks. They were born on Christmas eve 2013. Felix died that very night, Miles made it to St. Stephen's day. There are a few photos I took when we were put in rooms, waiting for news about the twins. Not knowing what was going on or what happened, I found myself staring at the wall right in front of us for hours, not even seeing them. An Irish maternity hospital is no place for long visits.

'The Royal Visit' is the image where the TV shows the coronation ceremony of King Willem-Alexander at the foot end of the bed that my mother was dying in that day. It seemed surreal to see the entire country cheerful and celebrating at the same time my mother was in her final hours.

She waited for me, but was unconscious by the time I arrived, so I was too late to say my goodbyes. She passed away early the next morning.

The series opens with Ruben, 3 days old. He was in an incubator to help him get his respiratory system going. After two days he got jaundiced, so he needed phototherapy, hence the violet light. We were delighted with the birth of little Ruben. After a very dark year, the little boy was a beacon of light. It felt like the tides had turned and things were looking up again.

2013 was a terrible year. I lost both my mother and the twins. Lou Reed passed away that very same year.